So I watched World War Z yesterday with a heavy heart because I have already read about all the production issues with this film and plus it has a PG-13 rating because teenagers are truly the only demographic that matters, especially if you are spending 200 Million dollars in production.
When I read many years ago that Brad Pitt had bought the rights to the book via his production company I was kind of hopeful. I like Brad Pitt, he has done some fine work in his career usually with David Fincher. Then I read about it being the largest budgeted zombie movie ever. Finally I hard PG-13 because he wanted to make something his kids could watch which is probably words his publicist told him to say when Paramount wouldn't pony up that much money for an R Rated movie.
I guess things have changed since I was a teen but I never ever remember having any trouble getting into a R rated movie ever. I saw Basic Instinct when it came out in 1992 and I was only 16 or 17 years old, with friends of the same age. We all watched movies like Porkies, Rambo, Aliens and no telling wait on Cinemax late at night. You seriously can't hit me with think about the children when they now show Basic Instinct on a Christmas morning on Starz.
I for one watched the movie because there was nothing else out at the moment I wanted to see and I have some respect for Brad Pitt. I can't really see why this cost so much to make because it obviously wasn't because of locations as it seems they only did a few aerial shots of certain locations and that is about it. Couldn't have been talent as Brad Pitt is the only big name in the cast. I was thinking the entire time that I have seen more locations in an 80's miniseries.
I'm not saying the movie sucked, it was way more fun than Man of Steel I just don't understand why it is called World War Z because from what I can tell they just took the title and then remade 28 Days Later. No slow zombies here folks instead we get runners that overwhelm everything in a matter of seconds like a tsunami of dead. No feasting on brains or devouring of flesh but more like a snake bite and you are fucked in 12 seconds. In 12 seconds from the bite you are twitching, then dead, then bitey yourself.
The real question though is how did such a terrible disease cross the ocean and make it to America? It seems to have originated in Asia but somehow got to the other side of the world. The UN guy suggests that it was via airplanes, infected people on the a plane but later in the movie we see how flying on an airplane with one infected person works out, the entire plane was over run with zombies in mere minutes. So how the hell would such a plane land in the United States, surely the pilots would have reported that they had about 300 infected passengers before landing the plane, that is if they didn't beat the door to the cockpit down before landing.
Really how could anyone infected even get on the plane, I mean by the time you have removed your shoes and gone through the scanner you would have turned. Obviously from the movie it only takes one to start the ball rolling but from the looks of the movie every flight into the USA must have had at least one infected person seeing that Philly, NYC and DC were already being over run.
They should have made it for half the money, gave it an R rating, sold it around Halloween and made it three parts. I mean is it that hard to make a zombie movie, Romero did it for almost 40 years and AMC is doing it 14 episodes at a time. Fast zombies might be scarier at first but CGI are comical as hell.
Monday, June 10, 2013
I have an idea for a comedy titled like this post, "Young Dracula in Love". The thing is Dracula while young in years compared to other vampires looks like a 70 year old man to humans and we get to follow his wacky adventures as he tries to start a relationship with a much younger woman. Think Christopher Lee trying to pick up Jennifer Lawrence. I'm talking pure movie gold here, it practically writes itself.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Two weeks ago I went to the theater to watch Star Trek: Rodenberry Spins In Grave at the midnight showing because I had a plane to catch the next day. As is the case now when you go to a movie at an AMC theater you have to watch some shitty TV show that you would never think to view unless stuck in the hospital and the batteries in the remote died.
Apparently The Foster Parents are Beach Bums
There was an ad for an ABC show called The Fosters and I got some weird stares because of one of the line readings in the otherwise sappy sweet drama that is supposed to feel like a warm washcloth swabbing your testicles. The little girl says something about meeting someone and the teenage boy responds "But that is our birth mother!" and at that line I cackled madly among the late night nerds who just gave me blank stares. So preposterous sounding was that line, who would watch this shit.Now less that two weeks later I am scrolling on my iphone tumblr app and I see one of my sponsored ads is no less than "The Fosters". You can't escape the LAME.