Friday, August 5, 2011

Captain America:The Last of my Patience

or Captain America:Filmed Exclusively at Shepperton Studios London, UK.

      First let me start off by saying that as a child and a teenage I loved movies. It was always such an interesting medium, visuals and sounds, plots and ideas, music and emotions. I good movie can illicit an emotional response. It can make you laugh, cry or get you angered. It was an experience when I was a kid to sit in the dark waiting for the kid in the booth to flip the switch on the projector and watch MAGIC come from light and sound. Those days are gone sadly I am afraid now it is cookie cutter movies feeding off pop culture as far back as anyone can remember. You can't just sit in the cool darkness alone with your thoughts or talking to your friend or girl anymore now you have to have COMMERCIALS SHOT at your head until the movie begin and even when the projector starts you have to watch TRAILERS for at least 15 minutes.
      Shit, I miss just getting asked to buy a coke or popcorn but I had to sit through ads for new ABC shows. One was about PAN AM Stewardesses during the early 60's when you used to have to wear a coat and tie to fly plus have a shit ton of money as well I imagine. How is that going to be a TV series? How many seasons can that last? Until Pan Am goes out of business? The Early 60's is the thing now thanks to Mad Men so why not a series about Stewardess, I'm sure they have as much of a story to tell as Madison Avenue Ad Men. I think the difference is Mad Men is on cable they have really been pushing the edge in TV like HBO the last few years with things like Rescue Me, Mad Men, Louie and Breaking Bad. ABC is owned by Disney, I doubt if the Mouse is going to get to risque.
     Then there was a commercial for the NEW Charlies Angels TV series set in Miami like it matters. This time the Angels are Detectives and Bosley isn't just some alcoholic that helps ever so often but a ladies man so plenty of sex appeal for everyone that watches. I will not be one of those watchers.
      Then,( yes I am using another THEN) there was a commercial asking if your computer had to load in seconds could it. They demonstrated by have a laptop connected to a laptop in free fall, when the OS was loaded the DVD tray would open triggering the chute and the PC would gently land on terra firma. I get it, idea is in my head. I understand commercial what you are saying are those few seconds while I get a cup of coffee at starbucks are important, THIS IS AMERICA. LAND OF THE NOW! Why those seconds that it takes for my PC to load keeps me from vital information such as funny tweets, stupid facebook messages that end in "if you aren't a coward or you are a true friend you will repost" and pictures of kids that I don't care about and don't care to see.
     So I sat through that 30 second commercial and what comes next but a fucking behind the scenes on the making of the commercial. Are you kidding me? Who cares how they made the commercial? Seriously. You strap a parachute onto a laptop and threw it out of a plane, stop me if you ALREADY FIGURED THAT OUT! Why did they make a behind the scenes for a commercial? Is it for when the DVD comes out? Will they have an audio commentary as well?
     You see, they got you in the theater because you can't leave at all. You have to get there early enough to get a seat that isn't in the front row or off to the far corners so you are at least stuck 10-15 minutes. This is made worse if you go by yourself because you can't talk away the Violent Eyeball Injections on Screen. Texting is only good for your unemployed friends and who wants to talk in a crowded theater on a cell.
      You must not leave your chair and no matter where you do set, management will provide a 6 year old boy to sit behind you to kick your seat and ask stupid questions throughout the movie. Thank you. The only highlight I can think of before the movie started was a preview for a Mexican movies called "Saving Private Perez" that looked both cheap and funny. After that it was back to anger.

Craptain Americano!

   So quick movie review. First half good, second half filler and let's just get to the fucking Avengers Movie already. A movie in which Robert Downey is going to steal the entire show because he is the most likable and charismatic of all the proposed characters. Sorry but that is about the truth of it all, Thor is going to stand their looking pissed, Cap will be flexing and Tony Stark will be drinking a martini looking suave.

No comments:

Post a Comment